Human
by Gillifrey
Summary: "I am Oswin Oswald. I fought the Daleks and I am human." When the Doctor finally reached Oswin, he discovered that she'd been converted into a Dalek. This is that scene told entirely from her point of view.


No one else could have done it.

The Path Web was a difficult thing to comprehend, let alone hack into. Earth's most amazing minds couldn't have figured it out. The complexities it offered would take years to begin to understand. Humankind wouldn't be able to figure out the Dalek technology. The last of the Time Lord's couldn't even hope to hack into it.

But Oswin Oswald could.

It only took a few moments for her to realize what she had to do when the door decided to stay firmly shut, keeping the Doctor from retreating into safety. She didn't panic, she just knew that she had to save the Doctor. She had to help him, it was all that she could think of when she heard the Daleks screeching. It was a constant mantra, repeating in her mind over and over. _I have to save the Doctor_. When she couldn't get the door, she made the Daleks forget he even existed. The Predator wasn't a threat. He wasn't anybody at all.

It only took her a few more moments to open the door.

"I've tried hacking into the Path Web, and even I couldn't do it." The Doctor said, Oswin watching on her screen as he slowly got to his feet, turning as the door started rise behind him.

She didn't bother to hide a smile that he was sure to see in a few moments. "Come and meet the girl who can." She hummed, her heart racing. He was so close, _so close_, to finally reaching her. She spent a year stuck in that asylum, a year with nothing but Carmen and her soufflés to keep her company. She would finally be out.

Oswin could finally go and see those stars she'd wanted to discover since she was a little girl. She'd always wanted to travel, that was why she'd boarded the Starship Alaska. After she got out of the shipwreck, she would be able to see those stars up close. Of course, she would stop by the visit her mum first. That mattered more than the stars, getting to go and see her mum again. The woman had to be worried sick about her daughter, after all. And if she was honest, Oswin missed her.

The Doctor's figure was easy to see as the door opened to reveal it. He was an oddly dressed man, that was certain. Tweed jacket and bowtie, a very strange combination. Not that she cared. He was going to get her out of there, after all. She ran further into her ship, grabbing at a bag before she realized he hadn't moved forward. She looked up at her screen to see the wide-eyed alien standing at the threshold.

"Hey, you're right outside, come on in here." She said somewhat breathlessly, gesturing that he come in, though he couldn't see the movement.

She was just going back to packing when his voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Oswin... We have a problem." He said, his voice sounding strangely hollow.

She looked back up at him from where she was, her face falling somewhat. "No we don't," she argued weakly. "Don't even say that." There was nothing wrong, there couldn't be. Not when he was so close. "Joined the Alaska to see the universe, ended up stuck in a shipwreck first time out." Oswin dashed forward, an impossible smile touching her lips as she gripped the back of her chair, her eyes locked on his stiff figure on the screen. "Rescue me Chin Boy, and show me the stars."

"Does it look real to you?" He asked dejectedly.

She looked around her slightly as though the answer might be laying among her half packed suitcase. "Does what look real?" She asked, not entirely understanding what he meant.

"Where you are right now." He told her, glancing up slightly at something she couldn't see on her screen. "Does it seem real?"

"It is real." She said firmly, her smile falling, worry taking its place. What was he talking about? Of course it was real. She'd been living there for a year, in that wrecked ship. She would know if it wasn't real.

When he spoke next, she could feel a piece of herself shatter. "It's a dream, Oswin. You dreamed it for yourself because the truth was too terrible."

Tears stung at her eyes, but she just kept her gaze locked on the screen, unable to look anywhere else. Her mind was racing. It couldn't be true, he had to be wrong, but she found herself clinging on to each impossible word that left his lips.

"Where am I?" She asked quietly, her heart hammering in her chest. That had always scared her, getting lost. Being stuck on the Alaska had been bad enough. No one to talk to her, nothing to keep her company. The only voices she ever heard were the garbled mechanical tone that belonged to the Daleks that bombarded her every night. The Doctor had to be wrong, she wasn't dreaming. She wasn't lost.

"Where am I?" She repeated, more forcefully this time, though her voice trembled. "_Where am I_?"

"Because you are a Dalek," he stated, the disgust in his voice so plain, so severe that it made her flinch.

He was wrong. He had to be wrong. She shook her head somewhat, blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay. "I am _not _a Dalek." She protested. "I am not a Dalek, I'm human."

"You _were _human when you crashed here," he corrected, moving out of her line of vision, but she scarcely noticed it. It felt as though her head was being held underwater, his voice too dull, too slow to be entirely comprehendible. What he was saying, it was just _so ridiculous_. She was _human_. "It was you who climbed out of the pod," he continued. "That was your ladder."

Oswin remembered that. She could recall climbing down a ladder after her ship had crashed, the white coat she was wearing making her movements slower than she was used to. But it had been so cold. She'd been carrying a torch, looking around when she saw one of those creatures right in front of her. _Dalek _her mind had supplied. She didn't have time to think about what she'd learned about the Daleks, it wouldn't do her any good. Before she knew what was happening, one of them had her pressed against the wall. "Where am I?" She asked. It was that same question, over and over. She asked the metal monsters, though she knew she wouldn't get a response. Asked them even when she'd felt tears streak her cheeks.

_How could she have forgotten that?_

She crumpled slightly when she realized that he wasn't lying to her, though she desperately wished he was. "I'm human," she whimpered.

"Not anymore." He said quietly, and she could feel herself begin to shatter. "Because you're right. You're a genius. And the Daleks need genius. They didn't just make you a puppet, they did a full conversion."

She shook her head slightly. She didn't want to listen to him. He had to be wrong, he _had _to be, but she knew better. Oswin was smart. It wasn't a lie, it wasn't a trick, it wasn't a mistake. He was telling her the truth.

_Where am I? _She remembered them closing in around her so she couldn't run. Where would she even run to? Tears rolled down her cheeks, obscuring her vision. _Where am I, where am I, where am I?_

"Oswin, I am so sorry." He murmured, stepping away from her. _From what she had become_, she corrected weakly. She could see him move in front of her, his shoulders hunched slightly. "But you are a _Dalek_."

She found herself gripping tightly at the back of her chair, glancing around her wrecked spaceship. No, but it wasn't a spaceship, was it? It wasn't real.

_Where am I_?

She wouldn't get to see those stars. She wouldn't get to see her mum.

"The milk, Oswin," He continued. "The milk and the eggs for the soufflés, where, _where _did it all come from?"

"Eggs," she repeated numbly.

She remembered being hooked up to a machine, metal wires circling around her neck, her face, her body. They dug into her skin, but she hadn't cared, not when she was struggling to get out. It was useless, she'd known that from the start, but she'd had to _try_. "I am not a Dalek!" She'd shouted. "I'm human! I am not Dalek!" She could hear her own voice fluctuating as she cried out, alternating between her tone and the Dalek's distinguishable, mechanic garble. There was a flash of light as she screamed. "_I'm human!_"

She turned away from the screen, squeezing her hands into fists at her sides when she felt them beginning to tremble.

"Eggs," she said again, struggling to think, struggling to understand.

"It wasn't real," the Doctor said rationally. "It was never real."

_I am not a Dalek._

"Ex...Ster...Min...Ate..." She mumbled, her hand twitching slightly.

"Oswin?" The Doctor asked cautiously. She could hear how confused he sounded, but his voice was so far away.

"Ex...Ster...Minate." She said, spinning around to look at the screen, what she knew to be her view from a Dalek's eyestalk. _Hers_.

"Exterminate. Exterminate!" She shouted, aware of the fact that he was getting closer. No, no he wasn't getting closer, she was moving forward.

"Oswin? No, no, no, Oswin!" He said, a pleading tone to his voice, but she ignored him. _Exterminate, exterminate_. "Listen, Oswin, you don't have to do this!"

She just moved forward until she heard his voice again.

"Oswin! Oswin, please, Oswin!"

She froze. Oswin. Of course, that was her name. She wasn't a monster, she was Oswin Oswald.

_I am human_.

The Doctor was backed against the door, pressing desperately at the sides as he tried to get away from her. There was actual, proper fear in his eyes. _Fear_. He was afraid of _her_.

Silence enveloped them as she let her voice fall away. No, no, she wasn't a monster. _I am human_. She stumbled backwards, choking back a sob as she covered her mouth with her hand. She just kept going backwards, as if she could run away from a dream that had quickly become a nightmare. It was only when she felt a wall behind her did she break down, sliding to the floor, burying her face in her arms as she sobbed. She tugged weakly at her hair, her fingers twisting in her brown tresses as she took in a ragged breath.

Slowly, she raised her head, looking back up at her screen. He seemed concerned. Concerned for a Dalek?No, concerned for _her_. For Oswin Oswald. For his Soufflé Girl.

"Why do they hate you so much?" She asked quietly, her voice breaking slightly. "They hate you so much. Why?"

"I fought them. Many, many times." He murmured, bowing his head slightly at the memory. The Daleks called him the Predator. She hadn't found out why in any database. That man, that man in the tweed and the bowtie had fought the Daleks.

"We have grown stronger in fear of you." She choked out. _We_. Not 'they' have grown stronger, 'we'. Because wasn't she one of them?

"I know. I tried to stop it." He muttered, turning his head away slightly.

He was just a man. He was a man, the man who had fought the Daleks. He'd fought them, the creatures who had converted into something hideous. Killing her would have been kinder, but no, they'd transformed her. She could let the Doctor die. She didn't have to help him get off the asylum, she could leave him and his friends there to rot with her.

_I have to save the Doctor_.

"Then run." She whispered, turning her tearstained face up to look at him.

He slowly turned his head up to look at her, and she felt a pang in her heart. If she ignored the screen, ignored the somewhat fuzzy picture of him or the room around her controls, she could pretend that they were looking at each other properly.

"What did you say?" He asked quietly, as if not daring to believe that he'd heard her correctly. Oswin knew exactly what he was hearing.

A Dalek saving his life.

She forced herself to get up to her feet, running over to her controls. She punched in a few numbers before she spoke to him again. "I've taken down the forcefield. The Daleks above have begun their attack. Run!" She pleaded. He couldn't die. She wouldn't let him.

"Oswin?" He asked, almost uncertainly. "Oswin, are you...?" He trailed away slightly, as if unsure how to pose the question.

"I am Oswin Oswald," she told him, straightening up to her full height. "I fought the Daleks and _I am human_." It didn't matter what they'd done to her. Subtracting love, adding anger, that was what made a Dalek. They hadn't made her angry, and they certainly hadn't made her unable to love.

"Remember me." She whispered, tears drying on her cheeks as she smiled weakly. A smile he would never get to see.

For a brief moment, she saw the Doctor smile. "Thank you," he said breathlessly, stepping back slightly, though he didn't look away. For the first time since he'd entered the room, she really felt like he was seeing _her_.

"_Run!_" She cried. He had to survive. No matter what, she had to save the Doctor.

The ceiling above them started to groan against the force attacking it from the outside. He glanced up at the sound, looking about worriedly. Oswin just sat back in her chair, tucking her knees up slightly, watching him closely. With one final look at her, he turned and did as she asked, and he ran.

"Run you clever boy," she murmured, an impossible smile touching her lips. "And remember."

Oswin's screen flashed when she saw that the teleport had been used, taking the Doctor and his companions away from the asylum. Leaving her behind. Of course, she didn't blame him. They couldn't have a Dalek with them. Besides, she would rather die than live as one of those monsters. The ceiling cracked, breaking apart, crashing down around her. She could feel the impact as it hit her, and she gripped the side of her chair tightly.

She could feel an intense heat, feel herself being bombarded by debris.

Oswin could feel everything.

Then the explosion hit, and she felt nothing at all.


End file.
